Here's the one that I've looking forward to completing. It's very eye opening. And it definitely makes you re-evaluate your life:
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I'd say probably my early to mid 30's. I don't know why, but ever since I turned 20, I've just felt so much older than what I actually am. I'm guessing it's because of all the things I've had to deal with in the past 4-5 years.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying. If you fail, you can at least learn from your mistake. If you never try, you won't know what might happen.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
I guess we just accept whatever is given to us, and don't strive to achieve something better. As far as liking the things we don't do, for me it's fear. Fear of failure, or that the thing I like really isn't what's best for me. So, I just give up on it and play the "what-if" game.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Yes, probably. I make all these plans to do things, and one way or another they don't pan out.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
All of the intolerance and hate. Yes, it's good that everyone is different. But if someone is basically the 180 of what you believe or how you live, you shouldn't hate them for it. It really pisses me off when I hear someone being attacked for being who they are. None of us have the right to judge another human being.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Listening to and discovering music. It's one of the things that is extremely important to me and makes me happy.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I was just settling. I'd like to think I'm doing what I believe in, but sometimes I'm just not sure.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I'd definitely speak my mind more. Right now I just stay quiet to keep the peace.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I was letting a "higher power" decided what was best for me. When I realized that didn't exist, I put my money on fate. It was until a little over 7 months ago that I took control of my own life.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
I wish I could say it's the latter, but I know it's the former. And I probably make thing harder than they need to be because of it.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
This has happened to me before. And...I joined in. I didn't defend him/her. I was more focused on fitting in than doing what was right. I lost several friends because of it.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Do what's best for you, and don't let others control you.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Yes. I really would
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Yes. It takes me seeing something 2 or 3 times, but I can always find the beauty that the artist saw in the midst of chaos.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
When I listen to music, I don't just hear it. I can feel and see it. I can't describe it, but it's a very physical experience for me.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
I guess it's because everyone's different. Everyone has their own quirks and preferences.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Go back to school and get my degree. I kept saying money was the reason, but that hasn't been the case. I haven't been as diligent in looking for a stable job as I could be. And because of that, I'm still in debt and just waiting for something to happen.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
More than likely. I tend to hold grudges. If I had to guess what I'm holding on to, I'm guessing it's the whole situation with my parents. I feel like I should hate them for everything they did, but I can't. I feel like I should say something to them, but I have no desire to and I'm so much happier without them. I feel like I'm stuck, and I don't want what's going on with them prevent me from doing anything.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Italy. I've always been fascinated by their culture and it looks like a beautiful country.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I've never done that. I know it doesn't make it go faster.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I really don't know. I used to believe ignorance is bliss, but now I'm not sure. I can't pick.
22. Why are you, you?
Past experiences and people shaped me into who I am now. If I hadn't done certain things, I'd be completely different.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
No. Absolutely not. I had a lot of growing up to do, and I didn't know how to act around people. I'm a lot better than I was.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
I always lose touch with people who live near me. The problem is I'm never that broken up about it when it happens. I wish I was.
25. What are you most grateful for?
Finding someone who gets me, and realizing I'm not alone anymore.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I'd say lose the old ones. Who knows how many great memories I'll have in the future?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
No, I think you have to question it and see that it's true before you can believe it.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
To be honest...I don't think I've ever figured out what my greatest fear is. There are things I'm afraid of, but they're not my biggest fear.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Let's see, I was 17...I have no idea what I was upset about at 17, so no I guess it doesn't matter.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I don't have a good memory from my childhood.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
When I got married.
32. If not now, then when?
Soon, I hope.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Nothing. So..I don't know.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
No. I always feel like I have to say something. I don't think I've even had a moment of silence with my own husband.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
That's what humans do. We have the unfortunate ability to take something that's good, inject our ulterior motives into it and deform that good thing.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
I think there's a general guideline, however there will always be a gray area.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Yes. But I would still look for something better.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Something I enjoy doing. I know there isn't a job that's 100% perfect for me. But I do know there's something that's not mind-numbing like what I'm doing now.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Yes. I'm just sitting here, wasting time online before I go to a job that I really don't like. This happens every week.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I've never experienced that. I wish I could.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
My grandparents. I haven't seen them in years, and I know they don't have much time left as it is..
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
No. There's no guarantee on how long I'm going to be alive. For example, if I do take 10 years off my life to be famous, but I'm supposed to die at 33, that means I'd only live to be 23. I'd die within a year. It sounds morbid, but I'm not going to gamble on something that isn't a guarantee.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Living is having a daily drive. It's like a fire that's ignited every time you wake up. You look forward to facing the world and make plans to do things and better yourself. Being alive is just waking up, and doing the same thing over and over. It's monotonous.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Now. If you keep saying tomorrow, then you'll never do it.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
More than likely, it's a lesson we know we need but don't want to learn.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I'd speak my mind more often and not hold back.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
I never have. I know I'm breathing, and I guess I feel that's all that matters.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love a lot of things. And I know I haven't been showing it recently.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
I know I won't.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I'm honestly trying to make them for myself. But, I think I still want others to make the difficult ones for me. I'm trying to break out of that habit.