My two favorites

My husband and our cat:

Tattoo ideas

I've been wanting a tattoo for a couple years now. However, I didn't want to get one just to get one. I mean, it'll be on my body for the rest of my life. So, I decided whenever I reach certain weight goals, I'll get a new tattoo. Here's what I decided on:

When I lose 50 lbs.

When I lose 100 lbs

When I reach my goal weight.

Day 30

I made it! Today is the last day of my challenge. I gotta admit, 2011 is off to a godawful start. I lost my job, and for whatever reason every interview I've had hasn't panned out. I'm trying to stay positive and keep my head above water. It's really hard, and I'm tired of being so stressed out. But I feel like I can't relax or rest until I find another job. Hopefully I can either find a job, or some kind of release...

Day 29

Wow...I'm really bad at 30 day challenges. Moving on...There are several things I want to accomplish within the next month. But if I had to pick, I'd say I'd want to lose 10 lbs. Losing weight is like my driving force right now. I even managed to find a group called Done with Being the Fat Girl. And you have no idea how true that is for me. I touched on it somewhat a couple days ago, but it has affected me my whole life. It doesn't have to be that way for the rest of my life. I want to be able to actually run and play with my kids. Not standing off to the side gasping for air. I can't even walk through a mall without getting tired. It's ok though. I'm just taking one day at and time, and making progress along the way.

Day 28

I miss being a kid. I miss that blissful ignorance most of us had the luxury of having. Everything was so much simpler when we didn't understand what war, disease, rape ect was. If I could give my father credit for anything, it was that he tried to keep it in that state for as long as possible. If this tells you anything, I didn't find out what a condom was used for until I was 15. Then...I got older, and I wanted to learn things by myself. My parents decided that I should learn all about the bad things that could happen to me whenever I left the nest. I ignored them. But I still miss not having to worry about bills, debts and jobs. I guess I just miss not having to constantly worry...

Day 27

Is it bad that I had a hard time figuring out which problem bothers me the most? I'm going to go with my weight. It might seem superficial, but it has been a huge roadblock for me. I'm 150+ pounds over weight. I think I'm considered obese. The main problem I have is I never really thought about it before. Yeah, I knew I was bigger than most girls, but I was happy. Then I started going to school and working, and people felt the need to ask me why I was so big. It still hurts to think about it. But...I'm happy to say I'm trying my damnedest to stick to a plan. I weighed myself this morning, and I've lost 3 pounds in 2 weeks. It's going slow, but it's working for me. I know I'll be healthier one day. Not just for me, but for my family. And that will be an awesome day.

Day 26

I always thought I was into the tattooed yet sweet bad boy. Oh how wrong I was. I quickly learned that "bad boy" are the worse guy to date, and will leave you high and dry. I tried dating the sensitive type. The ones I dated wanted replacements of their mother, so those went nowhere. I tried dating a jock. All he wanted to do was take me to the gym so I'd lose weight.  Finally, I dated a geek/nerd. He's funny, sweet and constantly kicks my ass on Super Mario. We have fun and make dates night out of playing House of the Dead: Overkill. What can I say? Nerds are hot.

Day 25

I've been fascinated by Bettie Page ever since I was in high school. I always thought she was absolutely gorgeous. I didn't really learn anything about her until I saw The Notorious Bettie Page. I think she's awesome because of how she dealt with everything that was thrown at her. Now, I'm not crazy about the fact that she became a christian, but I don't fault her for it. She did what made her happy and what made her feel good. I think it's kick ass that she decided to do bondage or fetish pinups. It was insanely taboo in the 1950s, but she did it anyway. So, say whatever you want about her. I think she was a smart and gorgeous woman who will be missed.

Day 24

I've been really bad about this 30 day challenge. I think it's turning into the 40 day challenge. Anyways...I have way too many favorite movies. I'm not sure if I can pick an all time favorite. But since I don't want this to be a short post, I'm going to go with Evil Dead. It has Bruce Campbell, and it was directed by Sam Rami. I consider it to be one of the all time best horror movies. Bruce Campbell goes to a cabin with his girlfriend and a couple of their friends. They make the mistake of playing a tape where a man recites a passage from the Necronomicon (Book of the Dead). Then chaos ensues. We're talking full blown demon possessions. But it has some of the best gore effects of the time. It's cheesy as hell, but I think the best horror movies are supposed to be cheesy.

Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness Day

Yes, I'm putting both. I'm kind of on the fence when it comes to today. This is the 2nd Valentine's Day where I haven't been single. I will admit that it is a commercial holiday, but what if you choose to ignore whatever's on TV or what's in stores? And what if you use today just to show everyone you love a little bit of extra attention? I agree that you should show them you care everyday, but if you think about it it's not always possible.

There's work schedules, for one. What about people in the military? Or any long distance relationship in general? I only mean that sometimes people don't have the means or the opportunity to show how much they love someone. And I think today provides a special outlet for that for those that choose to use it. And that's my two cents for the day.

Now without alienating my readers or offending those that are single or just hate this holiday in general, I would like to share a couple of pictures. Don't worry. They're not sugary sweet:

The card I got for Alex. I love the design.

The inside

The card my sister in law gave us. Yes, she drew that herself.

Day 23

I love how today's subject just happened to fall on Valentine's Day. Well, let me satisfy the lust portion of my brain:

First is Jensen Ackles. He plays Dean on Supernatural. I don't know what is is about him, I just think he's unbelievably hot.


Next is David Beckham. Do I really need to explain anything?


James Franco


Jude Law. Not the most faithful, but still very attractive.


And finally Justin Long

Day 22

Let's see...I was 20. I was a sophomore in college. I had a ton of "friends", I was either going to a party or on a date every weekend. I was just focused on having on. I also didn't care about who I might've hurt in the process. I had a little bit of mean girl syndrome going on. I'm ashamed to say it, but it's true. I guess it was my way of dealing with my own self doubt and inadequacies. I was also obsessed and preoccupied with finding a boyfriend. That year I actually found 4 (yes, I know. Believe me, I know), and each one was more screwed up than the last. I saw all of that to say that I'm almost a different person.

I'm somewhat comfortable in my own skin. I'm not desperate to fit in, or play a character. This is me. I'm just a newlywed 22 year old that's trying to pay off her debts, and create a better future for herself and her husband. Now I prefer to stay home and just watch a movie. I have a couple of true friends, instead of having a ton of people that I just hang out with. I may not be as social, but I'm definitely not a bitch anymore. I speak my mind, but it's out of honesty and not pettiness. I've changed so much, but for the better. Isn't that what growing up is about?

Day 21

I barely watch TV anymore. But there is one show I will make an effort to watch: The Big Bang Theory. Alex first showed it to me right after we started dating. I don't care what anyone says, it's hilarious. I think the reason why people make fun of it so much is because it's made by nerds for nerds. I'm talking (sometimes) obscure comic book, science fiction TV shows and movie references. And it's great. Not to mention it also deals with the fascinating occurrence of nerds dating or getting laid. I can honestly say every single episode has been funny. So, from one fellow nerd, give it at least one watch.

I promise I'm still working on my list...

I haven't posted about my progress recently. I'm still doing my goals. I believe I've completed 3 or 4 since the last time I mentioned them. The big one was read Anna Karenina. That took a little while. I had no idea it was 1,000 pages. But, I just finished it a couple minutes ago. Another one is start a savings account. We're finally putting money into savings. You have no idea how freakin' happy I am about that. So far, I'm doing pretty good and things are slowly getting better.

Day 20

I think education is extremely important. I didn't realize how important it was until I was out of school. When I was taking classes, I got job interviews left and right. I even had offers to sign up for assistance programs. But, me being the idiot that I was I didn't. I figured my mother would help me big mistake). I noticed since I've been out of school the only places that call me for an interview are retail ones that offer minimum wage. I don't mean to sound high and mighty, but I know I should be making more than minimum wage. Just because I don't have an official degree, doesn't mean that I'm incompetent or unintelligent. Sigh...

Day 19

I haven't spoken to my parents in 8 months. They were verbally and emotionally abusive to me ever since I turned 13. And as you probably read in a previous post, I even tried to kill myself to get away from them. They didn't always used to be that way, though. My mother used to be a class A beauty. Captain of the cheerleading team, and a genius. She was also well trained violinist. Then she started picking skin off her own face from stress. And then she started taking so many pills and Nyquil that her speech has started to slur and she would sometimes forget her own name. She's a hollow, scarred shell now.

My father was the high school quarterback. He used to be a popular dj in his hometown. He was incredibly smart, and predicted that computers would play a major role in people's lives. Guys wanted to be him, and girls wanted to be with him. Now? He has severe anger issues because he can't accept the fact that he's pushing 60 and his body is giving out on him. He never got his degree, and all he talks about now is how real estate is the way to go. Keep in mind that my mother is avoiding the IRS because she hasn't paid taxes in 5+ years. And my father is also in tens of thousands of dollars in debt, yet he doesn't have a job and hasn't had one since before I was born. They hate each other. They hate how their lives have turned out. They hate the fact that all 3 of their children are actually successful no thanks to them.

I say all of that to say that I don't think it's possible for me to disrespect them. They used their own children as pawns against each other. They forced my brother and sister to take care of me when they were kids. I might sound like a horrible daughter, but they tried to take away my future just so I would be miserable with them. I don't hate them. I feel sorry for them. Every choice they made could've been fixed. But, no. Now I have no idea where they are, and I don't care enough to find out. I'm spending the beginning of my marriage fixing all of the damage they caused. I'm not giving them another chance to do something else...

Day 18

First off, I really do not want to share my political beliefs. I'm so tired of talking and hearing about politics right now. I've already shared my religious beliefs...So what's left? Well, I guess you could say I'm pro-life, but at the same time I think there certain situations where abortion is ok or even needed. I don't believe in aliens, however there could be ghosts. I don't think the world will end in 2012... Now that I'm thinking about it, what does the word "belief" really mean? It could mean any number of things, in my opinion. Sorry for going all abstract and artsy. I have a tendency to do that when I'm zoning out...

Day 17

Where do I begin? I've had so much thrown at me in the past year that I'm surprised I didn't have a breakdown. My highs were getting married, getting far away from my parents and getting my license. The lows? I really don't feel like naming all of them. I'll admit that I had more bad happen to me than good. And it was a very hard year. I'm hoping 2011 is better, but so far it's about the same. I just want a freakin job. Most my problems will disappear as soon as that happens...

Day 16

I accidentally hit save instead of publish when I finished this yesterday. Anyways...I'm a huge music lover. And, I'm very very on the fence when it comes to mainstream music. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people stop liking a band when they start being played on the radio. That is such bullshit to me. If you really love a band, or proclaim yourself to be a fan, you don't stop liking them just because they might become famous. That being said, mainstream music is on a steady decline.

Two words: Justin Beiber. I feel ashamed just mentioning his (or her) name on my blog. He sounds like a 10 year old girl when he sings. I do not understand why he's so popular. That's not music. I just don't get it. There are so many bands that aren't getting the recognition they deserve, and that dumb-ass is going all kinds of platinum? I call shenanigans. Sorry for the rant, but I can't frickin stand him. Oh music...why are you being butchered by tween pop?

#9 Watch 10 documentary films

This one was very interesting for me. I saw 10 very different films. But out of all of them my favorite was This Film Is Not Yet Rated. The subject of censorship is absolutely fascinating to me. It's just so interesting to see what offends one person, yet doesn't make another person flinch. I think movies are a classic example of that. My personal opinion about movie ratings is that the people who rate these movies are only going by how it makes them feel. The more sexual it is, it tends to be NC-17. And I've seen so many NC-17 movies that are tame compared to what just gets PG-13. Oh well. Yet another thing people will never agree on, I guess.

Day 15

I don't have a favorite Tumblr. I've never been on that site, and I'm still not 100% sure what it is. Is it another blogging site? Or is it more photo oriented? Either way, I don't know and I'm not interested enough to find out.

Day 14

I was trying to think my earliest memory. I think I was 4 or 5, and I was living with my parents and my brother. The dining room of our house had this huge window, and it was very close to the driveway. I remember I made it a point to always wave goodbye to whomever was leaving. And then I remember one time I had turned my head, and I didn't see my mom leaving. So I missed waving goodbye. I got so upset. I mean, I was in hysterics. My dad couldn't figure out what happened to me. I don't remember how he calmed me down, but I remember how upset I was. Of course looking back on it as an adult, I feel so stupid. But hey, your priorities are different when you're 5.

#81

I'm proud to say I completed another one of my movie goals. And It was damn near impossible to find things starting with X,Y and Z on Netflix...

Day 13

Where would I like to move? West coast. I would love to not worry about snow anymore. And a dry heat is better than a humid heat. But, I know that won't happen. So I suppose I'll just have to settle for visiting whenever I can afford it (which won't be for quite a while). Vegas sounds awesome. I think that's where I'm aiming for.

New blog alert!

Because I'm a fan of shameless self promotion, I'd like to inform everyone of my new weight loss blog. It's nothing too fancy, but I want to share my progress with everyone. If you want to see how I'm doing, here it is.

Day 12

• Woke up at 9:45
• Had pizza for breakfast
• Read and finished a book in 2 hours
• Got a call about a job interview for tomorrow
• Went to the grocery store with my mother in law
• Cooked lasagna for dinner
• Wrote this post

So...my life is very uneventful at the moment. Hopefully things will pick up after I get a new job. Wish me luck.

Day 11

1. Tell All The People by The Doors

2. Who Needs Sleep? by Barenaked Ladies

3. Closer by Kings of Leon

4. Minimum Wage by They Might Be Giants

5. Death of A Martian by Red Hot Chili Peppers

6. Argue by Matchbox Twenty

7. Unglued by Stone Temple Pilots

8. Captain Jack by Billy Joel

9. Dr. Bones by Cherry Poppin' Daddies

10. Riders On the Storm by The Doors

A side note:
You know it's really bad when you put you iPod on shuffle, and your reaction to most of the songs is "Oh my god, I didn't know I had that!". It's a good thing I plan on listening to all of them eventually...